The stages of Grief and Loss include shock, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance. Although there are 5 separate stages not everyone experiences them all and not everyone experiences them from beginning to end. Everyone’s response to grief and loss is unique to them. The important thing is to get to the acceptance stage of grief and loss.
- Shock: During the stage of ‘shock’ you may physically nod and accept the news but on the inside, feel frozen. You might start saying to yourself “this can’t be happening to me” and you may need to listen to the bad news a number of times before you actually hear it.
- Denial: During the ‘denial’ stage you pretend as though nothing has happened. This response is normal, given you are not ready to accept the news let alone cope with the emotional loss.
- Anger: The ‘anger’ stage is an explosion of emotion. All the bottled up emotion you’ve been ‘pretending’ isn’t there during the ‘denial’ stage starts to bubble to the surface and you explode. The feelings pour out and you may find yourself questioning “why me?”; “Why do I deserve this?”; “This isn’t fair”; “How could this happen to me?”.
- Bargaining: During the ‘bargaining’ stage we generally seek ways to avoid the bad news and cling to the hope that it will become reversed. In relationships – this is the ‘friendship’ dream – that is, “can we still be friends?” or “we are the best of mates, we do everything together but we’re only friends”. This stage is one of the most common to become stuck and unable to move on to the final stage. It is this stage that often requires the help of a psychologist to address the unresolved issues with grief and loss.
- Acceptance: During the ‘acceptance’ stage
Better Self aim to nurture and assist in re-building unhappy relationships.
